10.22.2010

Anxiety- i hate it i hate it i hate it

I'm trying to manage my anxiety all by myself, with no medication assistance other than the cymbalta which doesnt do anything. no more klonopin, just exercise and meditation and deep breathing for me. I feel like i cant handle it just using those things. I cant. I freak out, i get irritable, there are so many things i simply cannot handle when im this anxious and stressed all the time.

What do normal people think when i say "anxiety" anyway? Anxiety like before you speak in front of a crowd? Anxiety like the first time you drive a car? No. This is NOT that kind of anxiety. This is a rain cloud constantly soaking you to the skin. This is an alarm always firing in your head. This sends electrical pulses to your heart constantly revving you up. I get shaky and im so fatigued mentally and physically from it. I dont know what to do. It's just the way i am.

Is that it? Is it just the way i am?

4 comments:

  1. Unless a person has anxiety, they just don't get it. They'll say - "What's wrong?" And there really isn't an answer. It just IS. Same with depression. What's making you sad? Nothing. These things just wash over us. I have to fly to Vegas and I hate to fly. The only reason was, I had an anxiety attack once and so it happens everytime I fly. Of course I don't fly anymore but my daughter-in-law is having surgery and,...
    Anyway. I take Effexor, Lamictal (which he recently doubled and it has really helped.) and I also take Xanax. Have you tried that? My daughter gets as bad as you sound. She does seem to be better now that she too is on Lamictal. Meds are better than misery. *hugs*

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  2. Sorry to hear you are suffering so much anxiety. I know how difficult that can be. I used to be afraid to leave my house. But with the right meds I am doing so much better. Abilify 10 mg really helps for me. I wish you the best. I am proud of you for trying to control the anxiety with out meds but if you are suffering (which you are) you should not feel ashamed to have to take something.

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  3. If they haven't been there, they don't get it. It can wreck havoc on your life and there isn't an off button. For me it is like an uncurrent, always there and ready to flare up. I've taken any specific anti-anxiety medications and it has been a long, hard road working through it. If you can stick it out without meds, that's great, but if you find yourself not able to function, then I would talk to your doctor. Maybe you're not ready to handle your anxiety without some help yet. Do what you need to do to take care of you.

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  4. I think I know what you're talking about. I had to give in and start taking anxiety meds recently. I didn't even recognize that what I had WAS anxiety until recently. I just knew that I always had this sense of doom, that my chest felt like it was about to explode from this buildup of pressure and I just couldn't focus because everything felt so out of control and tense. Try exercise. It really helps. Just walk on the treadmill for 30 mins (or if you don't have access to one go for a walk). Yoga and deep breathing never really seemed to help me, but walking just helped me to feel like I was getting farther and farther away from my problems.

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