Anxiety- i hate it i hate it i hate it

I'm trying to manage my anxiety all by myself, with no medication assistance other than the cymbalta which doesnt do anything. no more klonopin, just exercise and meditation and deep breathing for me. I feel like i cant handle it just using those things. I cant. I freak out, i get irritable, there are so many things i simply cannot handle when im this anxious and stressed all the time.

What do normal people think when i say "anxiety" anyway? Anxiety like before you speak in front of a crowd? Anxiety like the first time you drive a car? No. This is NOT that kind of anxiety. This is a rain cloud constantly soaking you to the skin. This is an alarm always firing in your head. This sends electrical pulses to your heart constantly revving you up. I get shaky and im so fatigued mentally and physically from it. I dont know what to do. It's just the way i am.

Is that it? Is it just the way i am?