12.12.2011

Well, that was definitely mania.

Long story, but i almost withdrew from school to take a semester off.
Im glad i chose to stay though. I got an incomplete in half my work and am finishing the other half. Spacing it out so i have more time to finish. I want to be here next semester. Im leveling out and im pushing myself to finish because i know i'll be glad i did. I know ill be proud of myself. Now, if only i could get some sleep. I have a final Tuesday and a final Thursday, and then i go home for a few weeks. It will be nice to relax for a while.

12.02.2011

WOAH GUYS

its been so long since i posted! where has the time gone????
its like time is flying but every day feels so slow....
ive been so depressed that im definitely going manic and im even taking my medicine.. it's weird.. im almost rapid cycling. day-to-day switching, sometimes even in the same day, like depressed in the morning and manic at night
im definitely feeling the crazy coming on and ive been to this rodeo before... i don't like it. Im afraid.
I'm seeking help from my school counselor and my mom is making a pdoc appointment ASAP. i will not end up in the hospital and i will not do something completely stupid..
like tonight i got done studying around 1 am and me and my friend walked back to the dorms playing marry the night and i started dancing on top of random cars in the parking lot even though there were people around i didnt care i just really wanted to dance on a car. i really wanted to light something on fire so i stole a scarf from this guy i hate and i stopped myself though. i havent given it back yet but im going to tomorrow right now im in my bffs room spending the night and i dont feel like leaving again unless i go outside to smoke or something.
ive been smoking copious amounts of marijuana. dear dear...
i need to clean my room and do laundry. also i want to write a song maybe.
in your honest opinion, how bad do i look? just from this post?

I love you guys bye!
xx