Symbiosis and Leibniz

God, according to Leibniz, is the necessary being which constitutes the sufficient explanation of the totality of contingent things–why the universe is this way rather than any other...

"Human minds are only only aware of a small fraction of the universe. To judge it full of misery on this small fraction is presumptuous."

I've been reading up on and thinking about why humans keep pets. I know they (earlier humans) formed alliances with animals out of necessity (oxen for labor, herd dogs, etc).. But in these days the relationship between owners and their pets seems different, like the pets get all the benefits. So what do humans get out of it? I mean, obviously we like the affection, and caring for something. We're "wired" to be attracted to baby-like faces and to things that need us. Perhaps it's an emotional necessity for some people. Pets become like family members with names and personalities. They're often very easy to communicate with, especially dogs and other social animals (since we as humans are also social animals). We welcome them into the pack, and they readily accept it. Our connections with other species are so important and we so often neglect them

Anyway, just a little thing. I'm exceptionally stable today. I saw my pdoc earlier, only for five or ten minutes so she could up my Depakote and and assign some more bloodwork. But i guess just going makes me feel better about it.

I was put in situations today where, unstabilized, i would have had angry outbursts, crying spells, anxiety, high irritability, and low self esteem. But for the first time in a VERY long time, i was able to talk myself down. I'm almost never that 'in control', and it took a lot of self-encouragement and distracting myself.. and writing. But i mostly wrote abstract ideas, maybe ill put them into poems later.

Strange how we are so animalistic yet we only began to realize it as we became more advanced. We like iambic rhythms that match our heart beats, we like sounds we heard in the womb, we like safety. We are so attracted to the comfort zone which corresponds to the survival instinct.
  And yet sometimes, i feel completely opposite.
Pethaps compassion makes our species less efficient.

I need to learn new languages. Fascinating, to transfer sound into different ideas. My numbers have colors. The brain's patterns of association are incredible.... When im on a high, it's even more astounding. I can weave the webs between the stars like i said before. Every single idea and sound and picture in the world is some sort of grass blade and my mind is the entire complex root system. Sometimes i miss it.

Time for poetry, no?

A thousand voices
Rising to static
Shrieking through windows
Nothing new

Here come the heroes
Strutting down
Soon to be names
In dusty old books

This ceremony, a weddding trail
A gold medal, as important
To your sanity
As pills in a cup, angel

Does the noon star sing to you?

My world is the one
Of dirt under fingernails
Scratches on mauve
And grey walls.

Dusty halls
There lie hollow eyes
In the rabbit skull

I will seek
And i will find
The mines
Where the crazies reside

There they
eat each others' toenails
And hee haw at songs
A fetus sings

There i will flourish like David in battle.